Career and FYP. FYP here is Finding Your Partner. Not the other FYP that we all hated and left behind.
I believe there are some sort of similarities between the two. Aside from the fact that these two things top my list of struggles, there are certain keypoints that I’d like to share that would be useful.
Both I believe, begins with YOU yourself. It’s about looking inside, and not looking out. In career, you have to look inside, to find out what’s your strength, what’s your interest, what’s your weakness, what’s your passion and what you’re capable of (not just what you THINK you are capable of). Once you find it, you can find a job that can best fit your character. The right job will come on its own. As you grow with the job you’re doing, you might realize that the job is no longer suitable for you. Maybe it’s the time where you switch to another job, or maybe go up the ladder and switch to another role (e.g, from an Engineer to a Management).
It’s the same with FYP. It’s really not about finding the one you like and returns your feeling. It’s about finding yourself, your identity, maximizing your potential, finding your place, and the right one would come on its own. Some may argue however, that we need effort. I agree with this. However my point is that, the main focus is all about finding your true calling, before trying to find your other half.
Before thinking of looking for a partner, ask yourself a question, “Am I ready?”. This is of course one of the most cliche question that everyone knows about. But think again, how deep have you ponder about this question? And have you really understand what it means? I believe it’s not about being ready financially, or biologically, or legally. It goes deeper than that. Ask this questions:
– Are you unsatisfied with what you have now? Putting aside your relationship status.
– Do you still want to explore extreme ideas? Like going to different countries, trying out different jobs, trying out different hobbies and lifestyle?
– Do you feel like spending most of your money on your own needs or wants?
– Do you feel that you need love and attention, more than you’re able to give?
– Are you still confused and not sure about what you want to be, where you want to live when you grow older, what kind of family you want to make?
– Are you still constantly searching for what values to believe in?
The list goes on and on. But if you answer “yes” to any of those questions, I’d say maybe you’re not yet “ready”. Well of course I don’t guarantee that the relationship you made under those conditions will not last, it could. But it’s definitely more of a gamble. Think of it, why does a lot of relationships that started during high school or university ended once they graduated? I believe one of the reason is that at this stage, people are still at the stage of finding their own identity, and once that identity changes, what used to be right fit might not fit anymore.
For you who have relationships that last from school days to marriage, consider yourself lucky. You might be the kind of people who can find who they are early since their school days, or the two of you really can grow together at the same direction and at the same pace.
With that, being “ready” or “mapan” is really a mindset.